he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
