i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
