if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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