if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
