i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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