just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
