Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
