Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
