Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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