he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
