We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Welp...herpes.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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