bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
