I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
