The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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