I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
