just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
