i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
