And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We are all done wearing pants today
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
