We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
