I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
