so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize