My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
