is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I party with great urgency now.
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