I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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