You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
