I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
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