I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
