Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
