Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
