It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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