North Korea, Best Korea!
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize