try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
