After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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