my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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