Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
