he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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