Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
