I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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