Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
