just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
