I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
