remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Randomize
