I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
