But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
