Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize