what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize