Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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