If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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