Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
