I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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