Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize