Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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