You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
