its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
