O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
