Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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