I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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