what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
