I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in itâ€
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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