i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
