tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
