is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
