the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
