idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
